It's been a bit of a crazy time here in our house with Richard in hospital and then planning on going to hang out with his sister for a while to get back on his feet with less responsibilities, so he can really focus on staying well. He plans to move back to Melbourne and we are going to try dating (I don't know what else to call it, when you are married but living separately, but not breaking up). We just know something has to change after getting out of hospital this time. It is his 6th trip for Mental Health. The best and the thing he should be proud of most, is that getting help is trying, and seeking therapy is trying. And all you can do is try and hope and maybe this time he might get some long term peace. Lucky he is in a hospital that has good food.

So obviously living with someone with serious mental health problems and having your own demons (do demons only exist because of God, going to have to look that up), it is hard and it takes its own toll because you want to help ease their pain. And probably for the last 10 years or so I have tried really hard to find some happiness for us. And there have been sparks. Like meeting Amy and Steph in Warrnambool after sitting around for a year with nothing to do, going to Blur with Marc, Cris, Mel and Stevie and having that experience to cherish after losing both Stevie and Mel. But losing my Dad and having assholes of executors of his will, sometimes everything gets too much.

So I have been trying Music Therapy after a chat with Tracey (who apologised for tying me to a flag pole, but I don't even remember that happening so it was like, what!?!), she suggested Music Therapy. Her Mum was into laughing therapy or yoga and sent me a book on that ages ago but I aren't sure I can laugh through everything, though I do try. I talk about Tracey in my episode. https://omny.fm/shows/making-of-a-musician/season-2-episode-1-me-kristy-sometimes-anderson

So Music Therapy is great. I don't play music in this type of therapy. I do like a guided meditation to music, and every now and then he asks questions about what am I seeing and what colours,images or imagines come up. It is quite fascinating. Like, my love of fashion came up in one session. I also can say I want to work on being more "self compassionate" and I want to find "peace" for a session and he somehow will weave this into the session. So, during this he plays a piece of music, I aren't even sure for how long as it is like you are half hypnotised. And somehow a black mind can form colours. After the music we don't talk much and then he makes me draw a picture and we talk about the picture. Like one picture I drew was at the beach and there are 8 people swimming and he asked who would the 8 people be, and I'm like I am one of 8 siblings (we all don't have the same parents). I didn't deliberately put 8 people in the ocean.

Last session, he asked me to put my picture on the wall and really look at it and try and see where your peace is. And, I honestly did not think there was any peace in my Faraway Tree Forest or Wind and the Willows Tree house, or the underground tunnel. But I think after looking at the picture enough. I think most of my peace has come when my imagination is allowed to be free and uninterrupted. Also I loved climbing trees and if you had a hedge then I wanted to climb through it, as they had the best mazes and I spent a lot of time in hedges at Sally's house mainly and down the road when we lived in town for a little while.

Anyway. I hope you all have some peace this weekend and if you know someone struggling don't be shy in sending a hello. Not everyone will trauma dump back, and if they do, just ask if they have professional support and maybe help them find some if not.

No one wants to feel like a burden or they are too much. But they would rather you tell them that too.

So finishing Idge's episode has not been a priority for me this week. I just haven't had the headspace to sit still (ADHD and Stress) but I have been doing some planning and visualising on what I want to do and other side things.

Here is the first 7.30 minutes of it. It is going to be a good one.

Like I am thinking of starting a live stream or a TikTok. And also doing two live recording Podcast episodes as a way to mark 10 years later with Ben Smith, Billy Abbott and Jordan Bakker. And I thank those 3 people so much for agreeing to something I haven't done before and supporting me at the moment. Lucky, also, I have a son (Callum) who just got some great camera gear, so I think he can help. If I bribe him :-)

Most importantly I got my music rights back off Tunecore too, so you can see my attempt of a film clip with free stock clips for Broken, it is below.

By the way, it is ok to be broken, it means you tried.

And some people are just assholes. It isn't you.